Why following your passion can be a trap

The Hidden Cost of Chasing what We Love

We are told to follow our passion. “Do what you love every day and you will never have to work a day in your life.” Our culture expects us to do what we do best and to be the best at it. Meanwhile, we envy those who dreamt big and achieved unquestionable success.

While those who reach the top are glorified, it is hard not to compare them with “average joes” - the 9-to-5 workers torn between a rock and a hard place: the challenges of daily life and the desire to “live big.”

However, we must ask ourselves where this desire comes from. Is there really something specific we want to do, be, or bring to life? And even if we feel a strong desire to do so, at what cost?

If you follow your passion, beware: you might be setting a trap for yourself. It can be devastating to dedicate your life to something only because you feel expected or pressured to do it. Despite what LinkedIn profiles suggest, it is okay not to have a side gig, to not be an entrepreneur, or to not be a CEO before you are 30. These people have made their choices. While we only see the positives, we don’t know their circumstances or the price they paid to get there.

The main issues with following your passions are the costs - burnout, chronic stress, and perfectionism lurking around every corner. We are finite beings with only 24 hours a day and a mind that can focus on one thing at a time, yet we try to care for a billion things simultaneously. Sometimes the numbers don’t add up, the schedule is full and there is no time left for what you love. When balance feels impossible, we have to let go of something.

That “something” is usually the other parts of our lives: family, friends, hobbies, and rest. At the time, it feels like a worthwhile investment. We tell ourselves, “once I achieve this, I’ll reinvest in my relationships,” or we use the more pessimistic phrase, “I’ll sleep when I’m dead.” Like a slippery piece of soap, our goal keeps escaping our grasp, so we chase it further with no end in sight.

We are not just one-dimensional creatures of passion. We are complex people who value many different aspects of our lives. Most of the time, the benefits of following a passion - the sense of purpose, achievement, and meaning - are not enough to justify giving up everything else.

Stepping back without Putting the Fire out

It’s not about giving up your passion, it’s about putting it into context. We must be aware of the costs we are paying and decide if we really want to give those things up. This is not an easy task, as passion tends to “feel right.” How can it be wrong when your body and mind scream “yes”? We must find a delicate balance to avoid being consumed by a burning passion, turning it instead into a source of light that enriches our lives.

The best way to do this is to lower the bar. Most passions can be pursued without sacrificing too much time or energy if we simply aim for a different scale. You don’t have to be a famous artist, it is enough to paint once in a while. Why work long hours now for the possibility of spending quality time with your family in the future when you can work less and spend time with them now?

Being a complete, virtuous person does not mean following values to the extreme. Aristotle supported the idea of the “golden mean” - the desirable middle between two extremes. It is about finding a balance that only you can define.

As long as you aren’t rushing to reach a specific milestone, it doesn’t take much effort to sprinkle what you love throughout your week. You don’t have to be the best to have the best life.

To put this into practice, ask yourself:

• What is my passion giving me, and what is it taking away?
• Do I pursue this because it aligns with my values, or because it is expected of me?
• What does enjoyment look like without the pressure to excel?

These questions make it easier to understand how much you really want to invest in your passion. They help you set limits to ensure you still have time for the rest of what matters.